It is in human nature to look for beauty, for goodness and happy endings, but all these things lose its value, if we get them often, if we get them with just a wave of our hands.  Isn’t it that people remember well when the memory is bittersweet. The ache wherein epiphany is found, the pressure wherein the wound is bled dry. Take medicines for example, you may hide it with a sweet flavour but eventually, the bitter taste will eventually surface and it stays there a long time. I’ve always been indecisive and so impulsive at the same time and look where it got me. I am in a college I never expected to be in and taking up a course I can’t seem to love. One of my regrets was not planning for my college but this regret made me look at myself. What do I really want? It made me realize that for once, I have to stay put and look at what could happen. I can’t just leave because I can’t seem to fit in with the people around me, because I don’t like hearing every time how I should act because of what I will be. Another thing, isn’t it that we never forgot those terror teachers who made our voice quiver and had somehow made us want to be swallowed by the ground.  We never forget our failures in our infatuations, our petty attempts to show off and be embarrassed instead. Same goes for love, when one of my friends got out from her relationship, she told me how she looked back and said “ Why did I even like this guy?”. I assumed it was a bitter statement but I can see the hurt, how she wanted to be better, she wanted to make herself better either for revenge or to make it work the next time.  Everything is a risk. We feel so much more excitement and fear when we gamble. No one likes to do things the hard way, I would be a hypocrite if I tell you I freely accept disappointments and failures. I’m just going to hope we’ll learn to love our pills.


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